Week 1 Power Rankings: Jazz vs. Bucks Highlights Exciting Opening Day
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No one doubted the fact that Dihu ran a corrupt league in the past: but hats off to him for piecing together some intriguing week one matchups. The good teams played the good, the bad played the bad, and everything in between was a solid match.
The season tipped off at 2:00 with a offensive shootout between the leagues best: The Bucks vs Liam O'Connell. And the Fans were biting their nails the whole time. After the Bucks took a respectable lead off the bat with Hajiharis and Corcoran highlighting the offensive stats, it went to waste when they were outran and outhustled by Liam and his creepy group of soccer nerds. Liam lead the second half for the "Jazz" and guided them to a last second 64-63 victory. This will be a championship preview assuming Dihu doesn't pick teams out of a hat for this years seeds. Nonetheless a great game, but they still play soccer. So who are the real winners??
A tough match to follow at 3:00. Nuggets vs 76ers. I predicted the Nuggets to win zero games, and I don't think anyone will question that. But there attitude and hard work put them within single digits of Peter James and the sixers. Beating Alcock and the boys by only 8 points is far away from a statement, but until the Sixers see some competition, they will remain in the middle of the pack in this weeks rankings.
Sonics vs Rockets followed at 4:00. An interesting game at the minimum. Rockets captain Jack Gorman brought together a ROWDY group of sub-par basketball players today, as the game ended with 7 minutes still left on the clock. Yes, the refs actually had to stop this game due to the overage of technicals. During the course of this game, the Rockets totalled 38 points, 14 technical fouls, 9 broken cilp boards, and Jensen Genyk even had the nerve to shoot the ref in the foot with a BB gun. He was rushed to the hospital, but we are glad to hear he's in stable condition. Anyways, Rockets get stomped. They suck a lot. Sonics will bring good competition, but aren't to be taken seriously. Hello BT.
Two veteran teams followed in the 5:00 matchup between the Twolves and Pooicans. The Pooicans embraced and really showed their inner-poo in this one, doing EVERYTHING within their abilities to blow this game. They got off to a big lead , but it was swallowed up quickly after the leagues new rage monster, Patrick Burke, fouled out and threw the leagues biggest temper tantrum to date. It appears this team has a collective composure of any given Second Grade class. After 3 technicals and 0 converted free throws by Henry Hoelscher, it was up to Kevin McNulty and Nick Shrimp to save this game. Twolves win a close one, the Pooicans shed tears. Down the shitter they go in this weeks rankings.
It's safe to say no one gives an actual fuck about the next game. Grizzlies vs. Kings. The score of this stalemate was 35-23. That should speak for itself, both of these teams suck and remain irrelevant. I can't see the Kings moving out of last in the rankings. Brutal. Next.
The Prime Time matchup was the Heat against the Lakers. It seems the Heat have hyped themselves up way too much. Nothing exciting happened here, given chucking up random threes is not exciting. A poor effort by the Heat overall and a strong performance out of Aidan Teahan lead the Lakers over the Heat. Expect the Heat to get hot eventually, but it never happens right away.
Week 1 MVP: Liam O'Connell
Power Rankings:
T1) Bucks
T1) Jazz
3) Lakers
4) 76ers
5) Heat
6) Sonics
7) Twolves
8) Pooicans
9) Grizzlies
10) Nuggets
11) Rockets
12) Kings
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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