Week 2 Power Rankings: Bucks, Jazz Remain Tied for Top Spot
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Tough to follow up the thrill of opening day. Regardless, a lot of changes made their way in this weeks rankings, as the good teams are starting to make a clear difference between the bottom half.
Leading off the day was Heat vs Twolves. This game went exactly as anyone would've thought. The Heat dug themselves in quite the hole, chucking up threes which lead to a deficit to end the first half. A halftime pep talk from Coach Buggy helped the Heat utilize their most dangerous weapon: their mouths. From that point on they just sat back and chirped away. 32 second half turnovers later, these Twolves were RATTLED. I have never seen a group of kids turn on each other more than them. Purcell and Devereux sealed the deal offensively to secure the Heat's first win of the year. They are good as long as they try. Twolves tank in rankings.
Following was the Sonics vs. Liam O'Connell. The Sonics think they're really good, which is honestly super hilarious. Yeah, they hung around most of the game, but the Jazz maintained a steady lead the whole game, to nobodys surprise. The Sonics can "hang out" with these teams but will never be able to finish. Ever. They will get their absolute shit rocked when they head to Milwaukee to face the mighty Bucks next week.
Pooicans vs. the short-handed 76ers was next. A 76er squad without Peter James lead the analysts scratching their head. But they were able to pull it off, in grand fashion. Without James, it was all up to the Herguth bros and Sean Kelly. They put on quite the show. Matt Herguth's dramatic buzzer beater three in TRIPLE OT was enough to place tears in the eyes of the Pooican's franchise as a whole. I'm even starting to believe that they have zero good players on their team. Shame on me for giving them decent odds to win it all. They go absolutely down the shitter this week.
The 5:00 premiere was simply painful for the human eye. The Rockets vs the Kings. It's a wasted effort writing about this game. Everyone who had the misfortune of watching this actually got worse at every sport, not just basketball. The Rockets did barely enough to sneak a small victory against a team who will never succeed at basketball. Embarrassing for both sides. Sean Majerczak had a highlighting performance, topping this weeks high with 24 points. This game was a pure morale booster for the winner, which goes to the Rockets. Congrats guys. It will take a miracle from the heavens for either of these two teams to win again. Yucky. Kings are so bad. Really bad.
6:00 Bucks vs. Nuggets matchup was far from exciting. It was a simple matchup of athleticism: something the Nuggets lack. The Bucks are more athletically gifted. Corcoran and Brander lead the show early, while the Bucks topped the Nuggets big time. Alcock Nuggets might win a game later this season, but probably not.
7:00 was a poor example of basketball. The short-handed Lakers could barely even compete with a Grizzlies squad who seemingly impressed. It was a team effort here, but nothing to brag about. I'm sure the Grizzlies think they're super good after this one. But don't get fooled, they are nothing to go crazy over. Don't take any of the junior teams seriously until further notice.
Week 2 MVP: Matt Herguth
Power Rankings:
T1) Bucks (3:1 odds to win championship)
T1) Liam O'Connell (2:1 odds to win championship)
3) Heat (2:1 to win championship)
4) 76ers (7:1 odds to win championship)
5) Sonics (5:1 to win championship)
6) Grizzlies (5:1 odds to win championship)
7) Twolves (16:1 to win championship)
8) Lakers (10:1 to win championship)
9) Nuggets (40:1 to win championship)
10) Poo (13:1 to win championship)
11) Rockets (59:1 odds to win championship)
12) Kings (no odds, not good enough)
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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