Imaginary girlfriend dumped for younger red head ditto: "Fuck Donna Paulsen!", HMC says

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29 year old dead beat student John Withnail Nyhagen left his imaginary GF of many years this week for a younger woman. The somewhat eccentric Nyhagen started mentally dating actress Holly Marie Combs (45) of Charmed fame in the mid 90s during a yeast infection and have maintained the bullshit relationship on and off ever since. Mostly during time periods where Nyhagen failed to get laid IRL. The couple own a make believe bungalow in Santa Barbara and have 2 imaginary kids together.

According to Nyhagen it was time to move on and he's now started mentally seeing "Suits" character Donna Paulsen (35) on a regular basis. Former imaginary bae Combs was devasteted when she receieved the news this week and has, according to Nyhagen, challenged Paulsen to a nude pillow fight over the right to remain in a bogus realationship with him. "Fuck Donna Paulsen! You belong to me!", Combs supposedly said during a phone conversation that Nyhagen totally pulled out of his backside earlier this week.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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