New Study Confirms: Desks Bad For Student Health
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CHESTER, IA - Stanford University released a new study about high school students and desk usage, and the results are getting mixed reviews.
Researchers at Stanford showed that desks are bad for student health because many students reported negative effects of extended desk use.
In a recent press release, chiropractic researcher Jared Goff praised the findings: "Desks are the worst. I'm glad future students won't have to use them."
Others disagree. Local resident Case Keenum isn't so keen on the idea. "Desks are an important part of school. I used desks, so I want my children to use desks."
The published study goes on to say that all teachers should immediately declare their classrooms "desk-free zones." If teachers want to maximize the health benefits for students, they should also require students to keep one hand on their shoulder at all times for increased blood flow to the brain.
School boards across the state are taking this information under advisement, and citizens can expect to see some district policy changes within the year.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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