AP Language Strikes Again!
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AP Language has struck again! Despite its notorious reputation for being a student menace, it has ensnared around 60 students and their life once again!
The students, all juniors at McMinn County High School, have been split into two groups. They are subjected to approximately an hour’s worth of painstaking knowledge being implanted into their brains. AP Language’s local lackey, a woman named Jillian Ratti, has a feared reputation among the student body. One student who has significant experience with Ratti, a young woman named Haley McMahan, has said the following of Ratti: “She actually makes us [the sudents] do stuff! And, even worse, learn!” The interview had to be put on hold for a moment due to Ms. McMahan bursting into tears. “It’s unforgivable!”
The students who have been subjected to AP Language’s cruelty have had nasty side effects, including but not limited to improved rhetorical analysis skills, better English and Reading ACT sub-scores, and a general increase in intellect. These horrid crimes against the students have gone on for many years, with all students who are subjected to these evils emerging smarter and better at writing than they were before. Another student, Noah Dahle, was instantly brought to tears when asked about AP Language. “It’s made me smarter, but at what cost?! At what cost?!”
Millions of students across the nation have been subjected to AP Language’s cruelty. The consensus among concerned parents is that AP Language has taken away their children’s free time and social life, caused their students to stay awake to the witch hours of the night, and given them the ability to create rational and well-versed arguments.
AP Language’s crime streak shows no signs of stopping.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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