Government Replaces All Birds With Surveillance Drones

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It is imperative that we discuss the methods that the government used to extinguish over 12 billion birds between 1959 and 1971. If we are to make disciples of the birds aren’t real movement, we must equip each and every person with the knowledge of what truly happened in this saga of insanity and government corruption. Here are the facts and eyewitness accounts of various key events that occurred within our nation that completely destroyed every man woman and child bird in existence.

Allen Welsh Dulles: you may not be familiar with this disgraceful human, but he was the Director of the Central Intelligence Agency from 1953 to 1961. Upon the government writing the plan to slowly kill off the birds, it was his responsibility to make it a reality. He was given the task of reallocating 65 Billion dollars of public health funds towards the forced extinction. On May 6th, 1955 he met with an unidentified man from the Boeing Airplane Company, and ordered 120 B-52 bombers. Dulles knew that if his government was to go undetected, he had to keep these aircraft out of sight from the American public. He was under strict orders not to leave a trace of his actions, so he devised a plan to construct the aircraft in Nevada’s Area 51. This way, the citizens of Seattle Washington (where Boeing was headquartered) wouldn’t be able to claim that the bombers had been built nearby (if the government was exposed).

23 men from within the Boeing Engineering department travelled to Area 51 in the back of an old school bus that they purchased from a salvage yard in Mukilteo Washington. They were seen by a few individuals bringing couches and rugs into the bus, and were also heard discussing and I quote,” really cool playlists for the road trip.”

Clearly, the Boeing Engineers didn’t get the memo from Dulles about remaining undetected, and actually painted “Area 51 or bust” on both sides of the bus. Whenever they would stop for gas, they would set up a makeshift campsite in the parking lot and sing songs with titles such as “I left my Honey for Area 51,” and,” Let’s Kill all the Birds.” They attracted a lot of attention, and the locals of a town in Idaho claimed that the men would reveal intimate details of what they were doing. Clearly, they were complete idiots; but their idiocy is one of the hardest pieces of evidence on how the government killed the birds. While 22 of the men made it to Nevada, one man did not. Neil Ford was the only engineer that lived to tell the story, as he was left in a Waffle House bathroom because the others claimed,” he had to pee too many times, and was ruining the vibe of the road trip.”

Neil spoke with one of the founding members of the Birds Aren’t Real movement shortly before his death in 1994. He spoke about the way in which Dulles searched for the engineers who didn’t have families. That way, they would be able to disappear from the map when the project was complete, and nobody would notice. This disturbing reality is a far cry from the way in which many people view the 1950s, and proves that our government has been ruthless in its effort to rid our nation of its peace and prosperity.

Upon making it to Area 51, the 22 remaining engineers were tasked with designing a new version of the B-52, the B-52B. The B stands for Bird or Barack, and it was to be a brand-new model of the B-52 that had 450-gallon water tanks in the place of the bomb compartments. The water tanks were hard to design, and one of the engineers almost gave up, but Dulles hit him over the head with a 40-pound wrench to try and “knock some sense into him.” This unintentionally put the man into a coma, to which he never awoke. Scared out of their minds, the remaining 21 engineers vowed to finish designing the airplane so they could leave Area 51 for good. This was to be a faulty dream however, as none of the men were ever seen again. We only know this information because 12 pallets of classified documents were stolen from a warehouse by one of our Birds Aren’t Real patriots- but we’ll get to that later in the next installment (December 2018.)

Once the water tanks were fitted into each bomber, a complex system of radar and tracking technology was installed to the nose of the aircraft. This technology was extremely advanced for its time, and was used by the crew to track large flocks of birds from distances of 200 miles away. Once the radar was fitted, 5 coats of jet black matte paint was sprayed onto every surface of the plane. This was done to camouflage the aircraft against the night sky, so that it could go undetected from the ground. Not only was paint used to hide the bombers, but each external strobe, beacon, and landing light was removed. Not a single light emitted from the plane, and the Pratt & Whitney JT3D engines were fitted with noise reduction pads that enabled the aircraft to fly completely silent from altitudes of 3,000 ft. or higher.

It took 2 years to build the 120 bombers, and once they were finished, the Boeing Engineers were told that they were free to go home. However, they were intercepted 30 minutes into their trip back to Washington, and were put in the back of an armored troop transport vehicle. The men were sent to the front line in Vietnam, which Dulles hoped would seal their fate. Each of the engineers actually survived for 3 weeks in intense combat, and were kidnapped by the Viet Cong only after they ran out of ammunition. The men were not heard from again.

Now you may be wondering, how were the birds actually killed? What method was used to accomplish this act of mass murder? Good question. The water tanks in the bombers were filled with a specially formulated bird poison, that once consumed, would give the bird a virus that could be passed onto other birds. The poison was sprayed from an altitude of 8,000 feet, and would completely dissolve before it hit the ground. Which meant that only birds would be affected by its terror, and once a single drop of the poison struck the birds feathers, the virus would take hold through the fibers and make its way into the bloodstream. The virus would then affect the bone structure in such a way that total decomposition of the birds would take place within 24 hours.

On June 14th, 1959, the CIA secretly began “Water the Country.” Within the next 6 years, 72 of the bird population was wiped out. During this nightmare event, the first few bird prototypes were released by the hundred thousand. The term ‘drone’ was not used at this time, and instead they were referred to as Robot Birds. In a stolen transcript from an ex-CIA deputy, she says,” yeah, the higher ups were so annoyed that birds had been dropping fecal matter on their car windows that they vowed to wipe out every single flying feathered creature in North America.”

As we learned in the previous chapter, this was just one of the reasons that the government came up with to eliminate the birds. Let it be known, the CIA originally were the only ones responsible for this atrocity, and the President had no idea that this was taking place. The CIA did not intend for anyone but select departments to find out what was going on, even the pilots of the bombers were unaware what they were doing. The Chief Commanding Officer of Water the Country told them that they were,” watering the grass of the entire country” To this day, it is highly unlikely that the pilots know that they assisted in the largest mass murder in world history. If any of the original bomber pilots of operation Water the Country are reading this, here me closely. We do not blame you for the sins of your superiors. While you did kill billions of helpless birds, you did not know what you were doing. You do not have to remain in hiding, join the movement and together we can fight the government.

As I said a few paragraphs ago, the President was unaware what was going on until October 3rd, 1963; when a top CIA official was overheard speaking about the operation over a tapped phone. John F. Kennedy was the President at this time, and had tapped the phone of Alvin B. Cleaver (Internal Communications Director for the CIA). Kennedy believed that Cleaver was stealing his ham sandwich from the White House Kitchen, and vowed to catch him speaking about it over the phone. Instead, he heard a highly sensitive conversation that Cleaver was having with Dulles. In it, Cleaver said,” yeah Allen. I’ve stolen John’s lunch again haha, he doesn’t even know. I’m going to keep stealing it until he launches a full investigation. Then I’m going to plant a hidden camera and catch his reaction as a dump all the stolen sandwiches on his desk at one time. I’m going to call the new show ‘You’ve Been Cleavered.”

Dulles responded, “Haha Alvin, that’s going to be so funny. We’ll have to play that clip at the White House Correspondents dinner. By the way, how’s the bird slaughter going? How many birds have we killed so far?”

“We’ve killed about 1.1 Billion so far, and the best thing is, the Robot Birds we’ve released in their place have done such a good job that nobody even suspects a thing.”

Kennedy heard this conversation over the tapped phone and immediately called both into the Oval Office; he demanded to know what they were discussing. They confessed what was taking place in the American sky late at night and he was appalled. He told them to stop the operation at once or he would fire them. They both explained to Kennedy why the birds needed to be exterminated, and asked him if they could show Kennedy a prototype of one of their birds before he made any decisions on whether to end Operation Water the Country.

On October 25th, 1963 Kennedy was shown a prototype of the Turkey X500- a robot that specialized in killing larger birds like eagles and falcons. The robot displayed its surveillance skills, as well as its ability to find and track escaped criminals (as we learned from chapter 1, this was one of the things that drove Eisenhower to approve the project.) Kennedy was impressed with what he was shown, but continued to demand the immediate shutdown of the operation; and less than a month later he was dead. Now I’m not saying that these events are correlated, but I am. JFK was murdered by the CIA because he was against the mass murder of every feathered flying creature in the United States. He was to be the first and only President to stand against the murder of the birds; from Lyndon Johnson to Donald Trump, every President we’ve had since has turned a blind eye to the atrocities that began in 1959. After Kennedy was killed, the CIA started rigging elections. They would only allow candidates who were anti-bird and pro citizen surveillance to win the Presidency.

By now you must be shaking with fear. The thought of your government doing these things is too much for you to handle, can it really be true? Could the government have killed billions of birds and replaced them with robots? Yes, they did, but don’t feel alone. At any point during the reading of this book, you are free to email our counseling department and we will walk you through the steps to mentally overcome this nightmare. I personally had to deal with this reality on my own, decades ago. Now I’m giving you a service that I wish had been available to me at the time of my discovery. If you’re currently experiencing episodes of excessive perspiration and muscle spasms because of what you’ve read, do not read Chapter 3 yet. If the first few chapters shocked you, chapter 3 will bring you to your knees. Buckle up, the nightmare is just beginning.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.