Record Breaking Salt Deposit Discovered in Long Island
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A record breaking salt deposit was discovered in the belly of Long Island after an absolute fuckin' beauty came home in October. After thorough tests were conducted, geologists came to the awe inspiring conclusion that there was more salt in this single deposit than had ever been produced commercially worldwide.
Local land owner Tits McGee had little to say on the matter, muttering something about pajamas and Naboo fighters under his breath when asked for a statement.
The discovery comes at an opportune time for Ontario, which recently spearheaded a trading partnership with Arizona mining company Papi 4 Goals Mining. CEO Michael Bobcat made a statement that the company was "prepared to ship enough salt from Long Island to keep Ontario's roads driveable through the winter for the forseeable future."
Although no name for the mine has been made official, it was dubbed the "Dear John Mine" in a really embarrassing video distributed by a bunch of featherweights with part time jobs that will never get laid again.
The mine is currently under a seven year exclusivity contract, shipping all the salt mined straight to Toronto for further distribution, and holy mackinaw is it ever great.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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