Beto O'Rourke Sustains Minor Injuries After Falling Off Countertop

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While speaking at a coffee shop in Texas, Democratic presidential hopeful Beto O'Rourke attempted to climb onto a countertop in order to call more attention to himself. Unfortunately, he drew too much attention after stepping on the edge of the countertop with one foot and consequently collapsed onto the floor. "I like standing on countertops, it makes me feel strong and powerful!" said Mr. O'Rourke. "When I stepped on this countertop however, something didn't feel right, so I hit the ground hard, see?" Mr. O'Rourke then showed us the small bruise on his rear he obtained when he fell back. "That bruise kind of looks like an outline of the USA doesn't it? That's it! I knew I was born to run for president!"

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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