The bin Laden Tactical Situation Room Attendees To Be Honored With Bronze Star. Chief Military Strategist Declines!

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In a stunning move, chief military strategist and former C.I.A. operative Col. Xavier Franklin., who headed the Situation Room’s tactical bin Laden raid, has been rumored to possibly declined a governmental Bronze Star to be awarded to all military personnel present during the harrowing operation. Although he is yet to make this decision official with the presidential staff, inside reports claim he is “not receptive” to the idea.

When asked to elaborate on his position, the hard nosed military vet was very forthright on where he stood with little ambiguity:

“I mean the Star in nice and all... but I was hoping to get sometime a bit more practical.....you know......like a 78” flatscreen! Or a loaded Amazon card, I need new bike parts. How ‘bout that new smart phone that came out? That looks good! Maybe some good seats at the NFL draft! They could work that out. You know it wasn’t supposed to be a “burial at sea”. But one of the sailors tripped over a rope latching his casket down and into the drink he went! I came up with the burial at sea part to save face.”

No official response from the White House has been received.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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Apr 2019