Lahat Thioune to Return to Utes Basketball, After Absence due to Anal Tearing

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Stories have emerged that the Utes Center out of Dakar, Senegal was not just taking off his first year due to a foot injury. Lahat Thioune has apparently been spotted hanging around multiple gay bars throughout the Salt Lake Valley.
Thioune was initially sitting out due to a broken foot. However, mid- February it is alleged he was sitting out for another reason. According to sources, the pain caused by intense anal tearing as a result of homosexual activities was too much for him to play through. The Utes certainly could have used him, with Jayce Johnson's injuries and Novak Topalovic's ongoing dispute with head coach Larry Krystkowiak.
We were able to catch up with Assistant Coach Andy Hill as he was leaving a hot Yoga session at Core Power Fitness in Salt Lake. When asked for comment, Hill was relieved that Lahat's teammates, as well as the coaching staff are so accepting of Thioune. "Its just so great to have a member of the LGBT community on our team, especially because it shows people how diverse our team really is." In Senegal, where homosexuality is punishable by death, it is all but refreshing to see him able to be himself in the states. Hill continued "We just hope that the fans in the Salt Lake area are able to welcome him with open arms, just as we have."
Thioune is set to make his first in game appearances this November, and fans are ecstatic to see the athletic Thioune back in action. Donnie Tillman, current standout for the Utes said "Lahat’s a great kid with a great heart, and I can’t wait to see what man he decides to share that with."

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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Apr 2019