Local Woman Arrested on Terrorism Charges
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LIVERMORE, CA - Federal authorities tracked down and arrested local Livermore resident Kelly Frydendal Wednesday afternoon after an anonymous tip was given to federal agents about a plan to infiltrate the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory.
“We conducted a hard breach Wednesday evening at the suspects house and discovered that Frydendal had constructed several plans to break into the facility,” said Lt. Gregg Swenson, Bureau of Investigations team commander of San Francisco.
Authorities said that the tip led them to Frydendal who currently resides on the Southeast end of the labs fence.
“Upon breaching, we found Kelly humming a baby shark tune and watching re-runs of the show Friends in the down stairs room,” Swenson described, “she was surrounded by photos of various garage doors and bay doors throughout the facility.“
The ongoing investigation appears to show that Frydendal had mapped a path throughout the lab, which maximized the amount of damage that could be done, with her final objective being the bay door on building 332, where the lab keeps its most classified projects.
“This plan was so meticulously planned out," Detective Nathan Matthews informed, “Her close proximity with the facility allowed her to coordinate forklift routes 24/7, She knew exactly where any given forklift would be at any time.”
Investigators believe the plan was to be carried out using the facility’s high capacity lift located near the eastern East Ave. gate.
Co-workers of Fryndendal say that this comes as no surprise to them, stating that Kelly has had a long history with taking down garage doors and doors alike.
“I mean, I’m only shocked that it took this long for authorities to check Kelly out,” Jerrod Martinez, a coworker of Kelly said, “The red flags are everywhere, I realized this when she told me that she hated cheese, bacon and fish. This mentality is instantly suspicious to me,” he went on to say, “just last month she assaulted me when I jokingly accused her of terrorist acts, punched me right in the face.”
As of now, the lab plans on boosting security and increasing the number of reinforced bollards throughout the facility in fear of any accomplices that may attempt carrying out similar plans.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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