Capitol Hill student accused of eating his girlfriends toes, then pissing on them
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
2059 35873 Shares
Gabriel Huss, either grader at Capitol, is accused of eating his girlfriends toes during class, then urinating on them. Witnesses say that he had a hungry look in his eyes, almost as if it was predatory. Sarah, an 8th grader from Capitol Hill was there when the situation happened, and is close friends with the victim. She told us all about the situation, and this is what she had to say.
“It’s a tragedy, honestly. To think that they did this in a public space instead of keeping it in the bedroom where it belongs? Gross. But- Not surprising. They’re okay, and Jasmine is weirdly turned on?”
We spoke to another witness of the situation, Vincent Trifilio, also an 8th grader from Capitol Hill described his feelings on the situation, and why he thought it was bound to happen.
“Jasmine and Gabe. God- Honestly I cant describe the feeling I got in my stomach when I saw those two going at it in Mr Hares classroom. All it took was a split second and suddenly they were on the floor barking at each other and then he.. he whipped his dick out! It was a cool experience but.. Sometimes I wish I was in Jasmines place you know? The amount of ecstasy I experience-“
That is where we cut it off, due to the amount of disgusting details the witness gave us. The last witness we spoke to about this was a teacher at the school. Mr Hare, 8th grade science teacher.
“He got ahold of her titties, MY eighth grader girls titties!”
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
Most Popular
-
1
bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.
-
2
new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."
-
3
whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.
-
4
two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.