First Ever Mayor of Huntington takes Office

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The new self-proclaimed Mayor of Huntington has today taken office, Sir Robert ‘do you know who I am’ Watson won the battle to take up this honourable role against absolutely no one and will be putting his dry lining empire in the safe hands of brother Shane to run whilst he concentrates on implementing many new changes to the local area.

In another move to free up more Huntington Council time, the Littleton Arms which is ‘owned’ by the new Mayor will be run and managed by the actual landlady. “Coggers is my pub but I am more than happy to let the landlady run it for now” said Sir Robert.

Sir Robert’s manifesto for the 5-minute-long campaign stated sweeping changes for the area with many new local bye laws set to be introduced. Some of these will include that children will be able to go outside into the garden of his beloved Coggers after 9pm to play football and all residents WILL support Liverpool FC requiring to go very very occasionally. The famous ‘You’ll never walk alone’ anthem will ring out across the area each day at dawn.

Huntonians will now be able to drink poncey gins with a straw and copious amounts of fruit without feeling ashamed and finally and somewhat more controversially the working week will change. Bringing into line with his current working pattern, Monday mornings and Fridays will form part of the weekend.

Also, Sir Robert has promised the area a new Burger King with FREE unlimited BBQ sauce for everyone plus a community Spa with subsidised treatments that will include back sack and crack waxing, massages and facials. The flag on the mound will be a replaced with a specially commissioned statue of Sir Robert which is set to be unveiled in the Autumn.

Lifelong friend and fellow Huntonian Lee ‘Hodgey’ Hodgkiss said, “this is real coup for the area and its future prosperity. I don’t know what we would do without Sir Rob (only close confidants are allowed to address him in that way), our already lapse trade borders will be completely open, which for me is a massive bonus”

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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