Divers Encounter 2500 Pound Catfish Below Cumberland Falls
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While it has been rumoured for many decades that a gigantic catfish the size of a truck existed below Cumberland Falls, this is the only time the fish was ever captured on film. Divers encountered this same huge fish, in the summer of 1973 when two divers who were re-positioning disturbed rocks beneath the falls, both saw the catfish and nearly killed themselves while resurfacing too quickly resulting in a case of the bends. Later in 1985, an amatuer underwater enthusiast with a homebuilt diving bell, also encountered the very same catfish while exploring the bottom of the pool at a depth of 263 feet. The unnamed operator of the diving bell was quoted as saying, "had I not been encased in a 7 ton steel diving bell, I think I would have had a heart attack. Too bad I forgot my camera, nothing to see down here except rocks. Immaculately well maintained rocks I might add."
While performing routine maintenance below Cumberland Falls in Corbin Kentucky, divers Greg Franks and diver/photographer Bolivar Shagnasty (pronounced shaw'-nee'-see'), encountered what appeared to be at least a 2500 pound Venezuelan mud catfish while re-positioning rocks that had been moved from their original positions due to recent flooding. When asked if they had any any concerns during the encounter, Franks replied "I never saw it, so I like totally didn't care." Bolivar Shagnasty (pronounced shaw'-nee'-see') countered with, "I was in no way stressed out about it. It was Greg he wanted, like totally not me. To be honest, I think the fish was just curious. Catfish are super smart. He likely decided to pass up my partner as a meal because of the air tank. Catfish are really smart."
Will Sawyers, an editor of a local paper asked " Why does the park pay divers to move rocks around?" Shagnasty (pronounced shaw'-nee'-see') replied, "I guess it's your tax dollars at work. Us divers work about 3 days a week on average to keep these rocks in place. I guess it's for historical purposes, I'm not sure. All I know is, I'm 3 years away from retirement from this job, and I've become damn good at it! I could literally put those rocks back in place in my sleep!"
When pressed by WKYT news as to how a Venezuelan mud catfish got below the falls in the first place, a Sherpa park guide surmised it may have been someone's exotic pet that was released possibly many years ago, maybe even as long ago as the Lewis and Clark expedition. The guide went on to say, local historians believe it may have been released by a slave named York who was a member of the expedition. He was known to release non-indigenous species in places where they weren't supposed to exist as part of his personal experiments during the trek. He was the first slave ever granted a permit from the U.S. Forest Service for the purpose of experimental animal relocation.
The approximate guess for the weight of the fish was determined by the Federal Aviation Administration. A spokesperson for the FAA said the reasoning behind why they were involved, stated, "Pilots are way better at guessing weight than anyone else. Also it is a known fact that anyone involved in the fishing industry tend to embellish the weight of fish, specifically an uncaught fish. It's situations like this where the public should have the FAA guess the weight of the catfish because we are more objective than fisherman."
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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