Horror night for West Coast. Eagles star offered cocaine to Free Agent if he signed with club

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STEPHEN Coniglio has stunned the AFL world tonight by declaring he will sign with Hawthorn at the end of the 2019 season.

Turning down a lucrative offer to stay in Sydney as well as an offer from West Coast to return to his native WA, Coniglio stated late on Tuesday night “I intend to sign with Hawthorn at the conclusion of this season”.

While an announcement of this nature is shocking enough in the AFL world, Coniglio has admitted West Coast big man Nic Naitanui is the reason he has chosen Hawthorn.

Coniglio has gone on record stating Naitanui offered him “all the coke you could ask for” and to “hook him up” with a well known Perth drug trafficker if he was to sign for West Coast.

The AFL Integrity Unit has summoned West Coast to an emergency meeting in Melbourne on Wednesday night with the likelihood Naitanui will be served with an immediate suspension that will likely end his season and possibly his playing future.

Trevor Nisbett, fresh from doing a few lines, has issued a statement saying “West Coast only administer coke for recovery” while the media should check out “that lose cunt (Fremantle head coach) Lyon - he’s fucking cooked worse than a burnt steak”.

These developments tonight, in addition to a “dodgy” Tribunal call for star backman Jeremy McGovern which sees him miss a week, ironically against Coniglio’s club of choice, Hawthorn, has apparently caused Adam Simpson to panic call North Melbourne in an attempt to jump a sinking ship.

It is believed he too offered “more coke than Carey has seen” in an attempt to leap to the front of the coaching queue at Arden St.

West Coast have approached Mark Bomber Thompson and James Hird as joint coaches to see out the 2019 season and organise the end of season trip.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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