Superstore Manager in court
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
2059 92064 Shares
A supermarket manager from Liverpool was arrested yesterday for serving human excrement disguised as curry to her customers.
Jenna Gill Manager said that she stands by her actions as the vile waste that leaked Into her shop was a disgrace and she could take no more of the abhorrent smell and the sight of human sewage seeping into the basement of the property from the kitchens of an Indian restaurant situated next door to her work.
I asked Miss Gill how this rather unusual and disturbing situation had come about. “It all started about a year ago when them stupid twats arrived next door and opened that Indian restaurant. From day one the smell of the place and the shit that leaked from their broken drains were fucking dreadful. I went around there loads of times to complain to the owners, but they said they couldn’t do nothing cause the toilets weren’t working properly and all the pipes in the sewage system were cracked and that. It turns out that their toilet had seen a lot of action every night as loads of the people what had gone in there for a meal had got the shits from their dodgy cooking. I’m guessing the whole thing got backed up with slurry and the pressure had burst the pipes, sending all that shit my way.
“After a while I could take no more, as I were stressed out by it all and Work weren’t going too well neither. Then one day I had an ideal. I thought to myself; instead of always shovelling-up all the shit that was leaking into the basement and tipping it all into next door’s garden in the dead of night, why not make some money from it by mixing some cheap curry powder into it, heating it up in a microwave and serving it up as our own special curry. Well, they do say where there’s muck there’s brass don’t they”
“Our supermarket weren’t doing very well, as the online reviews for it were real bad and customers had dropped through the fucking floor. I thought I’d have a go at doing curry specials to get a few extra punters in, plus, I’d take trade away from them dirty twats next door. I asked my boss to buy some extra microwave ovens, rice, paper plates and put an ad On our website”
“I couldn’t believe how the ‘special curries’ went down at first, as people seemed to really love them. the profit margins were bloody fantastic too,Then a few days later I started to get loads of people coming back to the supermarket complaining that they’d been really ill after eating our curries. One bloke even accused me of manslaughter or some shit like that, as he reckoned that the meal what I had served-up had killed his wife.”
It appears Miss Gills actions have had a devastating effect on the local community, as the local hospital has been inundated with people complaining of projectile vomiting, severe diarrhoea and other more serious conditions. It has even been rumoured that an elderly lady has died from eating one of his disgusting meals. Edmund Trusty-Hiacre, an environmental health officer from Manchester council told me yesterday that Miss Gills work was the worst that he’d ever seen. “I’ve been doing this job for over twenty years and I can honestly say that her organisation is the vilest I’ve ever had the displeasure to inspect. I was physically sick when I examined the stinking, rat infested cesspit of a place. My colleagues and I had to wear protective clothing and breathing apparatus when we went in there to gather evidence of her revolting actions. The establishment had been repeatedly served with improvement notices in the lead-up to this food poisoning outbreak and had already closed down twice due to food hygiene reasons. I’ve heard that one elderly woman was so disgusted at what she’d consumed in his restaurant that she had her stomach pumped out with bleach. Hopefully, after this repugnant little women has been prosecuted, his disgusting establishment will be shut down.
Miss Gill is due to appear at Manchester magistrates court tomorrow, charged with endangering human life, gross hygiene offences and operating a restaurant without an alcohol licence. She has asked for 112 other offences to be taken into consideration. The owner of the Taj Mahal Indian restaurant next door to Mr Cumonarat’s guesthouse was unavailable for comment.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
Most Popular
-
1
bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.
-
2
new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."
-
3
whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.
-
4
two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.