Local Madman Claims to Have Diverted Hurricane Dorian
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A local gun owner, going only by 'R. Ojeda' or "The Big O", claims to have diverted hurricane Dorian yesterday due to hurricanes "being afraid of bullets". Mr. Ojeda chartered a 42-foot boat and headed to the Bahamas late Saturday evening after work, carrying no less than 25 firearms of varying calibers and types. "They're pussies," he added, noting his observation that storms weren't so much afraid of bullets as they are "of weak will and being totally spineless--COME AT ME!"
An anonymous official with NOAA, the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration, stated that, while hurricanes are not sentient and therefore cannot experience fear, reports have been coming in of hundreds of dead sea birds along the general ballistic path with a point of origin from Mr. Ojeda's chartered boat. As he was in international waters, it is believed he has committed no crime and no charges will be filed.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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