AAE Epidemic Sweeps Southeastern United States

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

2059 47157 Shares

Local authorities are investigating an increasingly wide spread epidemic sweeping the southeastern town of Wilmington, North Carolina: abandoned animal excrement or now commonly referred to simply as AAE. The AAE epidemic comes at the turn of the season as the town approaches more Fall-like weather conditions and outdoor-enjoyable temperatures resulting in more foot traffic and ultimately more animal walking activity. The latest neighborhood to be hit by the AAE epidemic: Shinnwood West off of Greenville Loop Road. The recently developed neighborhood, positioned quaintly on the coastal lowlands near the beautiful town of Wrightsville Beach, has recently experienced numerous “suspicious excrement” sightings resulting in poor soil quality, treacherous terrain damage, anger, loss of sleep, and irrational facebook postings. Frequency of this epidemic are at an all time high, as AAE is hitting yards a record 1-2 times per year. The source of the AAE epidemic remains unknown at this time, and neighbors are encouraged to stay indoors and “say something if you see something” by alerting local authorities or HOA board members. These representatives are eagerly waiting to take action. If you, or a loved one is experiencing the effects of the ever increasing AAE epidemic, help is available at the nearest grocery store where volunteers are on stand-by offering plastic bags to contain the AAE epidemic product. For more information on the life-threatening AAE epidemic and how you can protect your loved ones, please visit www.AAEepidemic.com.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

loading Biewty

Most Popular

  1. 1

    bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.

  2. 2

    new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."

  3. 3

    whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.

  4. 4

    two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.