Man with 12 Testicles Unleashes MASSIVE Load, 133 People Reported Missing and over 500 Injured In Downtown Washington
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Only 45 minutes ago, reports coming out of Washington say nearly every street is currently blocked as a major cleaning operation goes into effect.
Information is scattered about the incident, with internet footage of a "hazey white" liquid being "discharged" down sidewalks and ally ways filling people with disgust, interest and fear. 11th St. Northwest to Connecticut Ave have been blocked, with an increased military presence.
One person was apprehended for the incident, only going by the alias of "J.H." in protection of his identity. "A load this massive is damaging to any civilization, yet alone this teeny, weeny man's reputation," his lawyer said while walking "J.H." with a paper bag strewn over his face out of DC City Center, followed by "we will do every thing we can to restore what he has damaged, but it looks like he may not face property damage charges for the time being. Now fuck the fuck off."
"J.H's" primary doctor told CNN, "You see, [redacted] was born with 12 extra testicles. Not 12, but 14 total." This, believe it or not, is 12 more than you have. "He should have been kept under extreme supervision from the start, but we let a Frankenstein's monster into this society and now we see our errors in the fruits of the happening." She exclaims. Her medical license is now under review as of 1:20 pm.
D.C's Mayor has proposed a relief center for people affected. She has declined to comment on the issue as of late.
We shall repeat again, downtown D.C. will be blocked off from 11th St. Northwest to Connecticut Ave. All and any unnecessary travel is prohibited until further notice.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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