Randall Kelley wins Sheeples choice award...
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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Randall Kelley is not your average guy... actually I apologize. That’s exactly what he is. Randall Kelley is just a standard run of the mill guy. If you were to meet him you’d swear you’ve met him before because you’ll just get that same type of simple conversation with little to no substance that you’ve gotten 1,000 times before from many of the millions of seat fillers sprawled throughout this great nation and across the globe. Randy seems to really enjoy his role as a plain old spoke on the establishment wheel. He just plugs along through life comfortably existing in his mediocrity. Kelley has been a perennial all-star in the Facebook loudmouth league. She can often be found type type typing away in 5-10 different posts at a time leaving many wondering how he finds the time. The answer is quite easy and is typically all of or a combination of these issues... Lack of hobbies or real purpose in life, very low self esteem, no meaningful relationships in life, below average intelligence. Kelley known on threads for his incredible lack of wit, recycling of the same boring jokes like his incredibly weak “your keys aren’t opening wet paper locks” which was clearly passed on to him from someone equally talentless. Or his trademark “no offense” which I liken to Michael Scott’s “that’s what she said”... Much like moronic manager of Dunder Mifflin Randy is probably under the illusion that it’s hilarious not realizing most people see it and helps solidify that he’s a fuckin bore. His comments not only brutally long and lame they wreak of typical middle aged white male lacking experience with people and culture outside his immediate comfort zone. He may be the best in the biz at being an absolute weak cunt when it comes to his favorite move of talking his weak boring shit then when faced with anything that gets him wound up which is anything as simple as “trump sucks.” This simple turd will block you and continue to tag and post the blocked person. He is by far one of the most satisfying people to set off because you really can feel how upset this poor guy gets through his comments. Be careful though because if you’re far more witty, creative, and love to be obnoxious to assholes he may try to charge you rent for headspace. I’m not sure there’s vacancy though because I may be taking up all of it. Congrats fuck boy you deserve it.
**now folks sit back and watch watch him start clickity clacking away because he lacks the mental fortitude nor the ability to not get all worked up over it. In layman’s terms he’s a weak bitch. Unfortunately I never actually know what he’s blabbing about in his responses because don’t tell him but, I don’t actually read all that shit. I just check to make sure he’s cranked up.”**
Pro tip:
A predictable comeback from her is going to be “you took the time to make a prank article about me, you’re triggered snowflake. Find your safe space.”
The correct response is
“Holy shit his wit, humor, creativity, and likability is far superior to my basic bitch vanilla boredom.”
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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