Why the Government is Trying to Kill You and What You Need to Protect Yourself
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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Just like any normal parent living in the great city of Pawnee, Indiana, I believed that vaccinating children was the right thing to do. My first born was vaccinated, my second one was too, the third one was too. It wasn’t until my 6th child where I found out the truth about vaccines. My son, Chet, started showing autistic symptoms after he was recently vaccinated. I went to the doctor and he diagnosed my son with autism. I knew something was wrong and I quickly hopped onto Alta Vista to find out the truth. After three intense minutes of searching, I realized that all my sons have autism. I found an article written by the handsomest white man I had ever laid my eyes on where he had the same thing happened. He decided that 100 of vaccines cause autism. Because of his face, I knew I could trust him. I kept researching for one more minute to make sure Mr. handsome and I were right. Of course we were because I found this fascinating article from a German scientist named Arnim Zola. I couldn’t find any pictures of Dr. Zola , but his sciency name gets rid of any suspicion. This article told the truth about vaccines and how the United States government is trying to control our minds. Think about it, the black plague was not cured by vaccines, it just went away, like my husband Jerry. I’ve also been hearing about measles outbreaks in the news. People are blaming it on the fact that parents with brains are not letting their child get autism and mind control devices injected into them. Even if the measles outbreak is real, how does someone get it if the measles didn’t exist before they contract it. It’s the government that puts the measles in those areas so that they could suppress the smart parents and force them to vaccinate their children like how companies that sell sunglasses created the sun in order to sell more glasses. I also found many advertisements on Facebook saying the same thing.
Now that I was more qualified than my doctor, I went to the hospital to confront him. The receptionist told me to make an appointment. After waiting three hours, I was called in to the doctors office. I went up Dr. Stupid and confronted him. He was so intimidated by my knowledge that he couldn’t even answer my question and as I was being thrown out by security, I had an epiphany. I should do something to educate the less fortunate so that they don’t fall for these governmental traps because I shouldn’t be the one of the few people in the world who knows the truth. At first, I went to a lot of protests, but that turned out to be a bad idea because I was the only one who ever showed up. After spending days thinking about this, I came up with No Vaxx. No Vaxx is a kit designed by me that that has all the information needed to educate yourself about the world’s greatest villain, the vaccine. Contents include: Three informational packets (with information on every type of vaccine and why they are bad, what kind of essential oils are good alternatives, and how you can revolt against the government), some essential oils to get you started, a tastefully made shirt with a dead baby that says Vaccines suck, a black mask so haters won’t know your identity. Order yours today! Yours for only $999.99
I know that being a minority is hard, but I promise that every person that buys this amazing kit will never die. Buy one not just for yourself, but also for anyone in your life who is being controlled by the government.
Now that I was more qualified than my doctor, I went to the hospital to confront him. The receptionist told me to make an appointment. After waiting three hours, I was called in to the doctors office. I went up Dr. Stupid and confronted him. He was so intimidated by my knowledge that he couldn’t even answer my question and as I was being thrown out by security, I had an epiphany. I should do something to educate the less fortunate so that they don’t fall for these governmental traps because I shouldn’t be the one of the few people in the world who knows the truth. At first, I went to a lot of protests, but that turned out to be a bad idea because I was the only one who ever showed up. After spending days thinking about this, I came up with No Vaxx. No Vaxx is a kit designed by me that that has all the information needed to educate yourself about the world’s greatest villain, the vaccine. Contents include: Three informational packets (with information on every type of vaccine and why they are bad, what kind of essential oils are good alternatives, and how you can revolt against the government), A tastefully made shirt with a dead baby that says Vaccines suck, a black mask so haters won’t know your identity, and
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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