Thunder Upset, Clippers Are Dead, Nuggets Find A Dub
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This week each game was decided by 6 points or less. Except for one game obviously. There was an upset, a close contended almost upset and a winless team that got the bread. Although the games were competitive, Lincoln gym was practically empty. Especially at 7 pm, the Clippers slot. The Clippers have officially left the league. I am not happy to see it because I think it’s healthy for every team to get their week to win by 60 but those days are over. Jim Dihu is looking into a possible bullying scandal that forced the Clippers out of the league but for now they are out.
Magic (3-3) v. Bobcats (4-2) - This one finished a lot closer than anyone expected. The Magic’s strategy of tossing up any somewhat possible 3 pointer seemed to work against the Bobcats. The Bobcats did end up pulling out the win behind the leadership of Luke Martin and a wanna be dunker Ben Triffo. Kid tried to get up and instead got stuffed by the rim and benched for the rest of the game due to embarrassment. John Rzepnawskinahski has proven to be a bust as he has failed to fill the position of Eoin Hopkins,
Hornets (3-3) v. Kings (2-4) - The Hornets seemed to have found their stride after a very tough start to their schedule. Taking this one by 10 or so points is a huge win for the Hornets as they sit at .500 now. As for the Kings, although they lost to the Hornets, they did beat the Thunder, and the Thunder just beat the Heat. So give credit where credit is due, the Kings aren’t the worst in the league, they’re decent. As for the Hornets, with 3 weeks left I think they can find themselves in an optimal playoff position if they win out. It can be a great season despite the winless start.
Thunder (4-2) v. Heat (4-2) - This game confused all four people in attendance. The fact is that 4 Thunder players and little Hopkins beat the full strength Heat by 3 points. Hunter Palandri came in clutch with 2 late free throws to seal the victory, “You know I just got the ball and thought about everything Tony Lavarato has taught me. I bounced it twice, aimed for the square and went for it. Mista Lavarato is my hero.” Sean Hayes was not able to play this game due to an ear infection he got from Liam Barry’s cat. This was, obviously, a disadvantage to the Heat but I don’t think it takes away from what this means for the Thunder. They are a solid team. Heat are inconsistent as hell.
Blazers (6-0) v. Clippers (N/A) - This game was non existent. I texted Baumann before the game and he legitmentally did not know whether they were still a team. But I think the dagger is officially in them and they will be a bye week for the rest of the season. They were already a bye week but now it’s an official one. Geier commented, “You know ever since I tried to fight some kid in gym it hasn’t been the same man. Basketball just doesn’t mean as much to me. I’ll be back next year though, better than ever.” Blazers are still number 1 though. They have been the victims of 2 forfeits which blows but it’s not their fault. Jason Foster was seen shooting hoops naked yesterday so he can “be comfortable on the court in his own body”. Can’t blame the kid, he just wants to play some ball.
Celtics (3-3) v. Nuggets (1-5) - It is ironic that the Nuggets get their first win as the worst team in the league drops out. Because technically they are the worst team in the league now but at the same time, they just beat the Celtics. Bros single handedly carried his team as he dropped 25 points, haha jk. This is disappointing for the Celtics as they were seen to be the best Junior team for awhile but after this, they may not be. I think this is a blimp in the radar and 9/10 the Celtics take this game. But that doesn’t really matter cause the Nuggets won. This does improve Jack Sullivan’s run for MVTB. So good for him.
It was a quiet but lowkey competitive week in the house league. We saw a death in the league, which I think is a first in history. Power rankings are kind of messed up though due to the upsets that took place. With 3 weeks remaining it seems as if there is one top DAWG and a pack of puppies behind. Next week is CRUX week so Jason Foster will be guest writing the article, should be a good one.
Power Rankings
Blazers
Heat
Thunder
Bobcats
Hornets
Magic
Celtics
Kings
Nuggets
Anger Management Rankings:
Justin Brosnan
The whole Clippers team
MVP of the Week: Ethan Quinn
5 pm - Thunder v Bobcats
6 pm - Hornets v Magic
7 pm - Celtics v Heat
8 pm - Blazers v Kings*
*this game may be at this time because of CRUX
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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