Blazers stay top DAWG, Pray for Quinn, Cwertniak may or may not be a MAN
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That’s a picture of the Maine South basketball team with some Special Olympics athletes. Happy RESPECT week. Interesting week in house league. With one more week to go till playoffs it’s shaping up to be very blurred as to who the 2-7 seeds are. We know the top seed though, we’ve known all season.
Celtics (3-5) v. Bobcats (6-2) - The Celtics have been a bust in the last couple weeks. I think Cweirt let all the fame and praise get to his head, such a shame. Jack Sullivan is losing his top spot as MVTB as well, kid just isn’t being a good bitch. Bobcats keep it rolling though. Rode apparently dropped 22 points but I asked multiple eyewitnesses and Kate Dillon was the only one who said it was true, she said, “My baby scored 22 points and he did it like a badass. He’s taking me out for celebratory smoothies!!”
Blazers (8-0) v. Hornets (4-4) - Blazers kept the tide rolling with their 8th straight win. It came after a vicious fight. With the Hornets holding their own, the Blazers had to show what they were made of. And like expected, the defense showed up. Jay Walsh was caught crying after multiple offensive possessions and Peter Skoronski body slammed two kids and boxed out Dombro into the bleachers. They just couldn’t handle the unbreakable defense of the future champs. Carlo Kwon played decent though, gg. This game showed how competitive the league is this year; a mediocre team played the best team in the league and it came down to the last two minutes. 1 seed stays 1 seed though.
Magic (4-4) v. Thunder (4-4) - This was a funny one. When I saw two kids with their numbers taped onto the back of t shirts I knew it was gonna be a tough one. The game went to the Magic which was surprising to say the least. The actual game was not the headline of this one though; an altercation during the third quarter was. Here’s seems to have happened: there was chirping going on the whole game until Ethan Quinn had enough. Number 9 on the Magic came up to Ethan and said, “I could beat you in a thumb war” and spit on him, Ethan rocked him in the face. Both were kicked out of the game and the future of them in this league is undecided. Jim Dihu has put his best detectives on the case so there should be a decision soon. A court case is possible. I’m on Quinn’s side though, how dare that kid question his thumb war skills. Thunder losing really fucks everything up though. The Thunder, a team that beat the Heat, have now lost to the Magic who lost to the Heat by like 20.
Nuggets (3-5) v. Kings (2-6) - Nuggets are making a little surge as of lately. Arthur Hoelscher dropped like 25 and propelled them to a solid win. Other than that it was a shit game between two of the lower teams in the league. These teams might meet again in the midst of a short lived playoff run.
Clippers (0-8) v. Heat (6-2) - Game was a forfeit. At first glance I thought, “Oh there it is. The Heat didn’t show up to another game.” I was mistaken, it was the Clippers this time. This may be the last nail in the coffin for this horseshit team. With one week to go they seem to have thrown in the towel. Each year in house league there is one team that’s so bad that they accept the role of being the bye week. Last year it was the Rockets and this year it’s the Clippers. They have denied that role though, instead they have given up. Waste of 175 bucks.
This week proved how tight this whole league is. There is a top dawg but other than that it’s blurry. We got teams that have beaten some teams but then lost to other teams. This is the recipe for an interesting playoff weekend in two weeks. Clippers dropping out might screw up the bracket but I’ll find out how Dihu’s gonna do it. But after some fights and spitting this week I feel obligated to note that this week is RESPECT week. A week dedicated to respecting others no matter their disabilities or challenges. So in honor of that I challenge everyone to tone down the anger and respect others. Maybe instead of punching someone, you elbow them. Or instead of saying “You’re a little bitch and can’t shoot for shit.” You say “Hey man go work on your shot, it’s really disgusting.” And also, go to Portillo’s tonight and Harp and Fiddle on Wednesday. And if you Alex Battistoni at any of the rest of the house league games, give him a fist bump.
Power Rankings:
Blazers
Heat
Bobcats
Hornets
Magic
Thunder
Celtics
Nuggets
Kings
Bye Week
Clippers
Anger Management:
Peter Skoronski
Peter S
Number 76 on the field
PeteSki
Pete
Future Wildcat
Man who boxed out Dombro into bleachers
MVP of the week: Arthur Hoelscher
Next week:
4pm - Heat v. Kings
5pm - Celtics v. Thunder
6pm - Nuggets v. Hornets
7pm - Clippers v. Bobcats (not happening)
8pm - Blazers v. Magic
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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