Blazers Win the Regular Season, Upset Week, Playoffs Are Set

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I don’t know what happened this week, I think someone slipped a little coronavirus to all the good teams. There were two upsets and a game that was too close for comfort. The week before the playoffs is not the best week for the confidence to take a hit. Nonetheless, playoffs are next week and the seeds are set.

Heat (6-3) v. Kings (3-6) - The Heat might be the most talented but inconsistent team in the history of this beloved league. They are a team that could make a championship run but also just lost to a dogshit team. I predict them losing in the playoffs and I wouldn’t be surprised if they physically just don’t show up. Kings deserve some respect for this one though; Johnny Cip came in clutch to seal the dub. After this loss, the Heat drop a seed and the Kings stay on the bottom.

Celtics (4-5) v. Thunder (4-5) - This one makes absolutely no sense. I mean the Celtics have some talent but not the talent to beat the Thunder by 18. Cooper Cotowski went off for a big game that propelled the dub. Ethan Quinn was shunned to the stands for this one and is unsure if he’ll come back for ‘yoffs. Ethan said, “Man my team is dogshit without me. It’s like the Maine South basketball team with Hunter Palandri, it just doesn’t make sense.” Thunder drop big time with this one, to the 7th seed. Celtics make a case for them being the best junior team.

Nuggets (3-6) v. Hornets (5-4) - This game seemed to be the only game that made sense this week. Hornets took care of his business and seemed to find their stride this week. Hornets have to be happy with this season after quite the awful start to the season. Jay Walsh commented, “The point of basketball is to shoot three pointers and we need to do that more as a team. Give me the ball and we’ll…” before he could finish Peter Skoronski came behind and clotheslined him. Seems to be some hostility on the Hornets.

Clippers (0-9) v. Bobcats (7-2) - I cannot stress enough how ashamed the Clippers should be. They quit, simple as that. “Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit.” Vince Lombardi.

Blazers (9-0) v. Magic (4-5) - With this one the Trailblazers take home the regular season title with a stellar undefeated season. The Magic did not make this one easy though. Although they seemed to be best friends with the refs, the Magic kept it close all the way to the end and made the Blazers work for it. Number 2 on the Magic is pretty talented but not as talented as BIG RED. With the help of Dombro and Pasieka the Blazers took this one home despite a not so great performance. Sam McGinis said this, “I literally didn’t know if I was alive this morning so I am just happy to be here. I am not even sure if we won.”

With the Blazers being the obvious 1 seed and favorites to win, everything else seems unsure. Bobcats will take 2 seed with Heat in the 3 seed. But after that the 4-7 seeds are pretty much interchangeable; they have all beaten each other and been beaten. This will set up some tight playoff games with teams that are similar in talent level. Not sure of the time of games yet but it’ll probably be Sunday 4-8 pm.

Dihu’s Seeds:
Blazers
Bobcats
Heat
Hornets
Celtics
Magic
Thunder
Nuggets
Kings

Anger Management:
Justin Brosnan
Ethan Quinn
Peter Skoronski
Eoin Hopkins
Jake Biederman

MVP of the Week: Coop Cotowski

First round match-ups:
Blazers v. Nuggets/Kings
Celtics v. Hornets
Heat v. Magic
Thunder v. Bobcats

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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