Florida to begin Fuel purchase restrictions
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People have begun lining up at gas stations across the state to fill up their vehicles for what could be the last time for several weeks to come. On Monday The Florida Freshwater Fuel Commission has ordered all stations to begin restricting fuel purchases to residents and non residents alike beginning April 02 at 12:01am. This order will be in effect until April 31 11:59pm and will limit all fuel purchase to no more than 2 gallons per registered vehicle per day. SunPass license plate readers are currently being retrofitted to all fuel pumps in the state for gas stations with more than one pump. These readers will record, log, and limit fuel purchases of all vehicles within a 24 hour period from the time of last fuel purchase. In addition no portable fuel container(s) will be allowed to obtain fuel in order to curb people from avoiding the mandated per vehicle time restrictions
Senator Jeffery Chittenden (R) seminole co. was quoted saying "If these (expletive) people want to roam around in the middle of a (expletive) pandemic than they can do so without using the fuel that will be needed for the trucking industry which is the sole life line for supplies and restocking stores. I mean for (expletive) sake what is wrong with people" We here at FNA have not seen the revised mandate but apperently only few exceptions to this mandate will be issued with supply trucks and those commercial vehicles tasked with installing readers and software being the primary exceptions.
One noteworthy exception is the lack of restrictions on gasoline powered golf carts. Personal use golf cart(s) will be required to follow the no portable fuel container temporary rules however the owners of these will be able to purchase fuel for them in unrestricted amounts. The Fuel commission committee on future family fun has recommended that those wanting to travel purchase a gasoline powered golf cart from Paul (The Goatman) Pryor at Angry Goat Custom Carts. He can be reached at 407-450-8833 and in response he is offering to put all new customers into a wicked ass golf cart and a free dozen eggs with all purchases.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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