Krispy Kreme - Another Victim of Covid-19

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

2059 67717 Shares

In what has become a seemingly endless stream of negative news. The global pandemic of the coronavirus, Covid-19, has claimed yet another victim.

New York's less ubiquitous doughnut chain, Krispy Kreme, was due to make a big splash back into town with the opening of it's new flagship location in Times Square this June. But the recent coronavirus outbreak has put that plan back on the shelf indefinitely.

At 1601 Broadway, West 48th Street, the 4,500-square-foot location was set to boost the popular bakery company back into the minds of New Yorkers and the millions of tourists who visit midtown every year. But these are uncharted times that we live in. "With the social distancing guidelines in effect right now, our profits have taken a real hit," said CFO, Jeff Ford. "The extreme costs involved in opening a location of this magnitude are just not feasible right now," Ford added.

In fact, the pandemic is even putting the company's Penn Station location at risk of being shut down. "We're looking at all avenues right now and getting updates from the CDC every week," said Jessica Cameron, VP of Operations. "The longer this pandemic goes on, the more we have to look at shutting down locations. If transportation use doesn't start picking up soon, there becomes no real reason for us to continue to be tenants in Penn Station."

This is only an example of what has begun to happen on a much larger scale. One by one companies are beginning to evaluate how they can better navigate the new economic marketplace we find ourselves in. And with no signs of slowing down, the CDC paints a somewhat gloom picture of the future. "If people don't start listening to the social distancing guidelines, we could be looking at a very long time before businesses start being able to reopen, let alone open new locations," said CDC representative, Jessica Amber.

Krispy Kreme CEO, Bernard Barnett, had a little more positive message for the company's fans. "I don't think we're going to have to close the Penn Station location. We're doing everything we can to keep it open. We need a presence in NYC." But as for the new Midtown location he said, "It's unfortunate, but there's just no way we'll be able to open that location anytime this year or even next year. Not with all the budget cuts."

So for all you Krispy Kreme fans out there, I think Nobel Peace Prize winning poet, Dolores Maeve, said it best, "We're all getting nurseried. April Fools, Michaela."

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

loading Biewty

Most Popular

  1. 1

    bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.

  2. 2

    new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."

  3. 3

    whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.

  4. 4

    two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.