All KY students will repeat current grade next year

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Frankfort KY- In a surprise move that is sure to delight parents, teachers and students alike, Governor Beshear announced that all students in the state would repeat their current grade next year. The Governor was quoted as saying, "C'mon now folks. These kids only got half way in to the school year. We can't on good conscience send highschool seniors out in to the world without those last critical weeks of preparation."

Some students have expressed a slightly different point of view on the matter. Daniel Boone HS senior Patricia Thompson was heard to say, "Are you freaking kidding me?! I already have full ride scholarship to UK and a family vacation scheduled for this summer. You expect me to put my life on hold for a year just so "Governor Daddy" can feel like he's doing something?"

The Governor went to clarify his position. "This is really key for the development of our children. They won't need a summer break thanks to all of the time off now." Citing an oddly specific example Governor Beshear said, "This academic step back is really going to benefit Hailey Williams of Vine Grove. If she'd done just a little bit better with dividing decimals I would have let everyone else slide."

Hailey Williams could not be reached at press time since her parents were still trying to teach her to flush the toilet.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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Apr 2020