BREAKING NEWS: Jeffery Epstein, found alive, admits Hillary Clinton tried to kill him

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Epstein, aged 66, was found alive in Barcelona, Spain, under witness protection when discovered that Epstein worked for Clinton several years ago as a personal hitman for the former First Lady.

Epstein later discovered that Clinton hired recently convicted sex offender Harvey Weinstein, as Epstein's replacement and was paid to kill Epstein.

Epstein was deported back into the United States, and taken back into federal custody.

Weinstein, aged 68 will be taken to court, on several accounts of attempted murder, including the attempted murder of former Golden Girl, Betty White.

Warrants for Clinton's arrest have been issued, but it has recently been discovered that the former First Lady has escaped into Mexican territory.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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