Arrest Warrant Issued For Colonie Natives Arrest
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Colonie, NY; 9:07am
A local Colonie native is accused of a felony assault early Wednesday morning. The accuser says around 9am Wednesday morning the offender Niko Culnan and him got into a fender bender on central avenue. They pulled over to the side of the road and there was enough damage the accuser says he decided to call the police. Culnan was very angered by this thinking the accuser was just trying to get money out of him. A verbal argument then ensued and the accuser says Culnan kept saying how he’s a division 1AA football player so laws don’t apply to him. The accuser then said that Culnan erupted when he told him that he is not an Athlete and doesn’t run anything under a 6.1 second 40 yard dash with a 12 inch vertical at most. Culnan then tried to throw a punch, fell over and face planted into the taillight of the vehicle breaking the taillight and further damaging the vehicle. After becoming even more angered after being told how terrible his jump shot must be, Culnan went to his car and grabbed a bat, after swinging and missing 3 times he finally hit the man in the side of the arm. The 110 pound man then shoved Culnan to the ground, took a picture of his plate and escaped the offender. Culnan is still on the run from police and his whereabouts are unknown. If you have any information on this crazed individual please contact the Colonie police department. The story is ongoing.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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