Customs and Border Protection fitness standard.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
2059 23017 Shares
CBP and Border Patrol are about to adopt a new physical fitness standard. For decades the Border Patrol hasn’t had a yearly fitness test, but that’s about to change. The Border Patrol is in a joint collaboration with DHS on this initiative. We asked a few Agents from the Laredo Stations to comment on the proposal and this is what they had to say. Agent Bonham said “The Border Patrol has always been regarded as the toughest agency in the Department of Homeland Security, I think we need to reinforce that and I believe a fitness standard will help do that.” Other agents were apprehensive on the proposal. Agent Gonzalez said “I’ve been in the patrol for 18 years and I’m 48 years old, I don’t think I should be held to the same standards as a 28 year old.” The plan is still in its early stages, but is said to include pushups, sit-ups and an endurance run.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
Most Popular
-
1
bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.
-
2
new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."
-
3
whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.
-
4
two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.