Breaking News: Nickelodeon Rockstar wins greatest Presidential Landslide victory across America

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

2059 10697 Shares

After last nights majority vote, the results of the election have been finalized. Nickelodeon’s cartoon Rockstar and Political outsider Luna Loud will become the 51st President of the United States. After winning a significant 535-3 landslide victory against incumbent President and former Secretary of State CBS’ Elizabeth “Bess” McCord. “I am going to Rock your world!”, the 17-year-old President Elect said in her victory address. “This is unbelievable” said Luna’s 13-year-old brother Lincoln Loud, who, coincidentally, was delivered at birth by Former US President Donald Trump and his wife Melania Trump nearly 14 years earlier. All the living former Presidents: Bill Clinton, George W Bush, Barack Obama, Donald Trump, Joe Biden, James Sawyer, Yolanda Renee King, and Conrad Dalton are all surprised by the results. During the debate between Madam Secretariat and Luna, Luna just rocked out in the debate and many Americans were amazed at her talent. “She’s just as hot as Mick Swagger!” Said a Luna voter. “Luna is just like the Elvis of all presidents, Bess is like Hillary!”. “Once we take over the White House, we will create a new United State of Rock!” Said Vice-President Elect Chester “Chunk” Monk, “and—yes we will!” Replied future First Lady Sam Sharp. Even her 10 sisters are stunned with excitement upon hearing the news. Luna’s sister Leni, 18, even replied in confusement “If Luna’s the king, well does that mean I’m the Princess?” Luna Loud is set to swear in on January 20, 2037 and will be the youngest President ever to swear in at the young age of 18.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

loading Biewty

Most Popular

  1. 1

    bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.

  2. 2

    new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."

  3. 3

    whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.

  4. 4

    two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.