Mystical Giant Destroys Two Cities, People Take Decades to Find Out Cause
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This story starts with the mystical Big Jim, who has only been seen by various government officials, Buddhist monks, and, as we just learned, almost everyone in Hiroshima and Nagasaki when these cities were destroyed. We have all heard about how these cities were destroyed by nuclear weapons, but tat information is false. The real story involves a winged cap of invisibility, an angry Greek deity, and a giant man whose passion was at one point to send a couple of cities into a parallel universe.
Big Jim started this particular journey in Scotland. He had been there to buy an X(times 10)L kilt. Once he was finished with that, he had an idea: what if he could end the global conflict and gain great recognition for doing so? The only problem he encountered would be how to do this, but then he had another idea: what if he somehow became invisible, and then flew close enough to an important city to cause that country to pass the event horizon of his belly button, going into a black hole and into a parallel universe?
Being such a large man, he knew that the only way to become invisible would be to steal the cap of invisibility owned by Hades, whom he had sent to a parallel universe already. It was a simple matter of grabbing Hades and stealing his hat. After Big Jim had done this, Hades became angry and tried to kill Big Jim, but, as the Secret Service has learned, it is impossible to do so. Big Jim ended up stepping on Hades and killing the immortal deity.
Big Jim then proceeded to use the cap to fly to Japan, being careful to stay above 40,000 feet so that nothing but a few pigeons would be pulled into the accretion disk of his belly button and go into another dimension. Once there, Big Jim flew over the two cities thought to be hit by an atomic blast: Hiroshima and Nagasaki. He flew close enough to the cities for them to be sucked directly into his belly button, never to be seen again. After this event, the only known whereabouts of Big Jim have been in the aforementioned places such as the closet of Donald Trump.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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