Johnson & Johnson Recalls One Million Vaccines

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

2059 69674 Shares

ATLANTA- Johnson & Johnson has issued a voluntary recall of one million doses of its Covid 19 vaccine, an action that the CDC said it might threaten public health but will also cause a serious vaccine shortage.

After months of pushing by the United States Government to release large lots of Covid vaccines the company has publicly stated “I think we all expected something like this to happen at some point”. Although none of the symptoms have been lethal to any patients thus far, some of the symptoms have included but not limited to- itchy scalps, slight loss of hearing, and hives.

Johnson & Johnson decided to recall the vaccines after tests at a manufacturing plant in Pennsylvania identified a malfunction in the sterilization process that could have allowed microorganisms to survive the process.

The company had no choice but to recall the vaccine after an astounding 78.4 of patients have come back with side effects. Joe, a 63 year old man from Kentucky said “if I would have known it was going to cause me to go partially deaf, I would have never taken this stupid shot. The only reason I took it was because my kids suggested it.”

In fact, many elderly individuals who have taken the vaccine and had side effects have said the same thing. Sue from Maryland said “my kids have been worried sick about me since Covid became a concern in March of last year... but these hives have to be way worse than Covid is”.

Moral of the story is, don’t listen to your kids. Even if they are a pharmacist. Also don’t listen to an article that Steve wrote and made a fake web page to prank you with. Happy Vaccinating!!!!!

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

loading Biewty

Most Popular

  1. 1

    bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.

  2. 2

    new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."

  3. 3

    whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.

  4. 4

    two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.