Goldman Sachs Announces 40-Hour Maximum Policy

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The company announced changes coming to its prestigious IBD and Markets divisions. Going forward, all employees in investment banking, research, sales and trading, and asset management will be held to a strict 40-hour maximum threshold per-week.

This comes shortly after an internal survey of work satisfaction painted a grim picture of life as a banking junior. We got a chance to speak with several of them:

“I spent years in high school and college excelling above and beyond to have the opportunity to work in bulge bracket banking,” Mile, a TMT IBD analyst, said “I could work somewhere else and probably make similar money, but then I can’t say I work at Goldman Sachs”

Timmothy, an analyst in equity capital markets said “I made more money than my dad in 2020 with no experience, but I shouldn’t have to work for it”

Sarah, a tmt analyst opined “My dad ended a relationship with banker and signed a worse deal with Goldman to get me this job” she continued “my last name is on this deal, I shouldn’t have to worry about the 10s of thousands of plebes who would “replace me” (if she did not want to work longer than 40-hours)”.

We asked if they would be open to working fewer hours, with the company instead hiring more analysts, but reducing or even eliminating bonuses. They all unanimously disagreed. “We are happy the company is going to let us work 40 hours and continue to pay us up to $200 grand. We shouldn’t have to work 4x as hard to earn 4x the average starting wage”.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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