Biden lifts travel restrictions on UK and Schengen Area

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President Biden annouced this morning that the restrictions originally placed on travellers from the UK and Schengen Zone countries would be lifted in the next 24 hours.

Sources from the pentagon suspect that this may risk a rise in infections across the country, especially in the Allison Park area of Pennsylvania. Prime Minister Boris Johnson, when asked for comment, said "It's been long overdue, we're sending our top man into the area to extract intel as well as deliver fine British goods. He's been dying to get over there for over a year now, and has been pestering me non-stop, thank fuck he's finally going."

Intelligence specialists were wholly against the move, as they claim their sources believe that a new British invasion could be on the cards, with all 50 states eventually re-submitting to the will of the British Monarch once again and competitive biscuit dunking re-appearing as the national sport.

If us as a media organisation could just take a moment to express our gratitude to the omnipresent Queen Elizabeth, and all hail our cumpet overlords.

Sorry Mrs Lauren x

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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