Metallica to become a big band
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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Metallica is dropping heavy metal in favor of a new, and unusual genre; Big band. Along with the genre change, their name will change as well. They will be going as The Metallica Big Band. A large recording session will take place in which they will re-record all their albums in the big band genre before deciding on releasing new and original music that is not a re-record or cover. They will still have the current Metallica lineup but also will be backed by a big band in studio and on tour. When asked about why they did this, Lars Ulrich had this to say; "Me and James Hetfield were at a computer in a recording studio looking up songs that would give us ideas for a new Metallica album and we decided to look up David Lee Roth's version of I Ain't Got Nobody/Just A Gigalo, but we accidentally clicked on the Louis Prima version, and wow, were we impressed. So much so, we told the rest of the members we were gonna record our next album under a new name and under the influence of the big band genre. The other members were a little weary of this idea but got on board. They decided that we owe our fans one last album under the Metallica name. They suggested we use thrash metal on some tracks, use mellower sounds and the Earth, Wind, and Fire horn section on a couple tracks while also recording three big band tracks that will be hidden with the only thing announcing their presence being that the time is a lot long for there only being six tracks when in essence, there are nine tracks. I predict this album will leave fans scratching their heads when the album goes from our usual style to ones never before experimented by us. It probably won't be until 2020 when our first big band album comes since we will be spending the next three years studying big band music and recording the final Metallica album. The name of our first big band album will be titled "Big Band Up Your Ass" which is not only a pun on our first album, but a re-record of it in the big band genre. A lot of our fans will more than likely think we're not doing the actual big band genre but just using the genre name as a pun because we added in loads of new musicians to the point we have as much as a big band, but that is not the case at all, we are doing the actual genre." So if you have a jazz station (or a station that has a jazz program), don't be surprised if Metallica ends up on that station (or program) in addition to being played on rock, alternative rock, and classic rock stations.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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