Little Egg Harbor Man "Tazed" & Taken Into Custody for Ignoring Covid-19 Warnings

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

2059 74072 Shares

Daniel Pomponio, a local general contractor, was taken into custody today for violating warnings in regard to the Covid-19 or Corona Virus.

Mr. Pomponio was found in a deranged state outside the local chinese buffet rattling the doors to get in at 9pm Tuesday evening, screaming "I no eat vegetable!". He was taken into custody after receiving no less than 3 applications of officer's conducted energy devices, better known to the public as "Tasers".

One local patrolman was heard saying, "After the second shot, we couldn't believe he was still on his feet, but the third application made him go down like a water buffalo with a lion on his back. We think his confused state and hunger-drive somehow gave him the power to withstand the voltage."

On Saturday night, Pomponio is rumored to have sponsored the inter-municipal transport of White Castle food products over several town lines, while also inviting un-masked guests to a gathering of more than 10 people. It has also been rumored that there was no hand-sanitizer at the event either. Investigations are ongoing into the gathering.

Local police spokesman & White Castle Cheeseburger lover, Lt. Mike Hart, responding to our questions about Mr. Pomponio's behavior stated, "We just don't understand it. Danny is normally a well-respected member of the community. His recent transgressions can only be attributed to the closure of the gambling halls of Atlantic City and of course his favorite buffet. I guess a man has his limits! He was off the rails and now he's off the streets!".

Mr. Pomponio remains in custody until the investigation concludes.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

loading Biewty

Most Popular

  1. 1

    bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.

  2. 2

    new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."

  3. 3

    whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.

  4. 4

    two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.