Alias Hacker name Keizer Wolfe is arrested and indicted for multiple cyber crimes across the US.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

2059 68591 Shares

On March 31st, Tuesday, around the hours of 3pm and 4pm, alias Hacker name Keizer Wolfe seized multiple random bank accounts across the US via smartphone device.

"We've been on to him for about a few months", said Leading Director of the FBI, "It was just a matter of time and place."

In defense, Keizer's brother, Eli A. Sanchez stated, "My brother had no part in this. He's a hard worker and is too stupid to know how to even access the web." On the same defense, Kathleen Crystal Breedlove, Keizer's girlfriend, confessed, "What's the harm in what he did? He was only going to use the money to buy me an engagement ring because he loves me so much and wants to be with me forever. He's like Robin Hood and Romeo in Hacker form."

Jennifer Sanchez, Keizer's sister in law, was convinced by Mr.Wolfe that it was hard-earned from work. The FBI believes she was paid off to keep secret however, she objected, "I would have wished I'd seen something but not one cent was ever seen by me." FBI officials stated Jennifer Sanchez made several purchases at the nearest Starbucks, "We can't understand how one could afford so much coffee during the week and weekends for months. There's something surreptitious going on here and we will get to the bottom of this."

Interviewing Mr.Wolfe, he expressed solely, "The money was to be invested in a pizza parlor with beer. The difference from my business and others is, it's all you can eat and all you can drink. I love pizza that much and the world loves beer. Combine both and you have happy people. I want the world to be happy..." He continued with eccentricity , "I want the world to be at peace!"

The enthusiastic cyber criminal continued on for his love for pizza but leading director expressed the severity of his crime to him and yet, Keizer smiled with tears uttering under his breath, "Pizza..."

More on this event soon. Stay up to date and alert for future events that possibly never happened.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

loading Biewty

Most Popular

  1. 1

    bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.

  2. 2

    new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."

  3. 3

    whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.

  4. 4

    two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.


Apr 2020