BREAKING NEWS: PREPARE FOR THE REAL LIFE PURGE
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With COVID 19 taking over the world the definition of normal has juristically changed. The US Government has just announced that they will take one week to create a better plan to demolish the coronavirus. The week of April 28th to May 3rd (make sure to mark this in your calendar) is the week where all police, fire, search and rescue and medical departments are shutting down. This us giving them time to rest but it is also leaving people with the virus and others who need medical attention in danger. They are doing both planning and population control at once.
President Donald Trump said at a live conference this morning, "This is for the good of our country and even though we are putting our country in danger I...we trust that this will work itself out." Start preparing because no one knows what will happen. EXTRA: Two people with the initials of GFB and EEB will be chosen to discuss with the government an important sacrifice call the number (605) 475-6968 as soon as possible.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."
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whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.
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