ISIS Flatulence Ban: What you need to know
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Cries of further human rights abuses are cropping up due to a bizzare law recently enacted by ISIS : Death for farting. While this may sound like a cruel joke, make no mistake: US and Iraqi Intelligence have recieved reports of prisoners, women, and children being beaten, burned, or even stoned to death for passing gas. One of the burn victims, who wishes not to be named, recited in horror the events which transpired to give her 3rd degree burns: (Translated from Arabic) " I was in a Daesh-controlled market when I smelled a foul odor and asked the shop owner what that smell was. He emphatically exclaimed that whoever "smelt it dealt it" , and flagged down an ISIS officer to inform him of my crime. The officer then took me into the center of town, saying " This lady loves to fart ", removed my hijab, and burned my hair off, giving me 3rd degree burns on my scalp and where my pubic bush once was. It was painful and deeply humiliating. I am so glad that I escaped ISIS so I can be free to eat my chickpeas and lentils and fart, wafting in the sweet-yet-stinky aroma of freedom". Any further reports of punishment of this kind of any other bizarre events that have been unfolding in ISIS- controlled territory .
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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