Three Syrian rufugees escape civil war by pretending to be Polynesian.
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Three Syrian men escape their war torn city of Allepo, Syria by telling authorities they are actually Samoan business men, traveling to the Middle East in hopes of opening the regions first pineapple bar.
Jacob Amasiah, Benjamin Amasiah, and Benjamin Amasiah Sr told reporters they have been trying to figure out a way to escape since 2009. When Amasiah Sr saw Dwane The Rock Johnson in a movie, he said he knew right away what he had to do.
Amasiah Sr forged passports and shortened their names to "Ama" and began practicing Samoan slang words, customs, and practices.
Jacob, now Ama, said "we are the biggest Syrians in the world. As a child, they called us fat and said we were outsiders. It's only right that we took advantage of the body types that Allah had given us".
Benjamin Jr stated he likes his new home in the United States because he "blends in with a beautiful culture" of Samoans.
We got a hold of ICE (immigration and customs enforcement) and were told that these three men will not face deportation because football is as American as you can get, and Samoans play football. We explained to them that these men actually don't know anything at all about American football, but we're told to shut up.
Benjamin Ama Sr is now selling home made straw hats to Mexican farmers at a discounted rate, Benjamin Jr who goes by "Booboo" now is getting into the modeling business where he will where the smallest life jackets on earth, and Jacob says he is just looking for a Polynesian princess who will accept him and love him for the Samoan he really is.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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