Park Ridge House Leauge Basketball: Power Rankings (2-18-18)

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

2059 16486 Shares

Quite the mundane weekend for house league, as the games went by rather quickly on the courts. Shoutout Lincoln janitorial staff for being a literal pile of shite, as the southern rim was tilted at a presumed 88 degree angle.

First game of the day was the 76ers and Nuggies. I wish I could tell you there was an exciting play in this game, I really do. Connor Alcock pt forth his best effort, but was ultimately drowned by the weight of his teammates performances. 76ers take the dub.

Second we had our beloved Kings against the Bulls. The Kings got off to a hot start, but the Bulls had a career shooting day in the second half, posting season high marks of 38 from the floor and 18 from the arc. Bulls take the win, Kings still in search of their first W.

Slotted in the 2:00 game we’re the Phoenix Suns and Cleveland Serbians, Yuck! The Cavaliers has the hot hand in this one, unfortunately, but they were met by a Robin Hood esque performance from Kerrick Hanrahan, who posted 34 points and blocked league league queer Ivaylo Tochev. His heroic show wasn’t enough however. Cavs win.

The Pelicans put forth a strong effort against the undermanned Celtics, but it was all for not. Gabel, Spyros, and Nate Crees explodes in the victory, pouring it onto the Pelicans throughout. The refs in this one were pure goat dick throughout for both teams, but nevertheless, 5’1 point guard Patrick Burke and the Pelicans fall. Celtics remain undefeated.

The trailblazers must’ve taken my comments last week to heart, as they came out angry and relentless against the wee Raptors. It was an admirable effort, but the Raptors ended up skimpering by Sullivan and the Blazers.

After the Jazz’s battle with the Wizards, they came out against the TWolves looming rather flat. Alex Olson seemed to be the only one having a good game, putting up 30 points and 56 rebounds. A late surge from Kevin Corcoran almost brought the upset, but it wasn’t enough.
POWER RANKINGS:
1. Celtics
2. Wizards
3. Jazz
4. Pelicans
5. Raptors
6. Trailblazers
7. Bulls
8. 76ers
9. Timber Wolves
10. Nuggets
11. Kings
12. Suns
13. Cavaqueers

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

loading Biewty

Most Popular

  1. 1

    bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.

  2. 2

    new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."

  3. 3

    whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.

  4. 4

    two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.


Feb 2018