Local Sperm Clinic Robbed by Woman Claiming to Have Super Hero Powers

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A Los Angeles woman Lacondala Watson is back in the news today after a standoff at the CHA Fertility Center, a sperm clinic where she held several employees and two donors hostage with a two foot long dildo.

Sources say that at least three employees were brutally beaten by the dildo and are currently in critical condition at UCLA Medical Center.

The two donors were unharmed as they continued their assignment. Later when interviewed by KTLA5 they claimed that they actually produced more sperm than usual due to the excitement of the situation.

Lacondala was just recently in the news for selling fake tickets to a Tupac and Biggie concert. She had been claiming they were doing a tour to reintroduce themselves. It was to be called the “Come Back Tour”.

Lacondala told detectives that she needed the sperm to re-energize her special super hero powers. According to her, she has the power to be invisible along with mind control, immortality, the ability to talk to animals, superhuman agility and time manipulation. Each time she has been asked to prove her claims she changes the subject to her midget boyfriend Loco Mex.

Lacondala and her enormous homemade dildo were booked into the LA County Jail and charged with possession of a lethal weapon, littering, loitering and twerking. Her next court appearance will be August 2.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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