Week 4 Power Rankings: Pooicans, 76ers among plummetting teams
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A boring and overall uneventful week was brought upon us on for Super Bowl Sunday. An absence of a legit match-up brought boredom for both fans and players.
This wacky week began at 9:00 between two of the leagues most prestigious rage monsters. The Rockets did not roll out of bed on the right side this morning against the Timberwolves, as they were hit with an immediate double digit deficit to overcome. As the game went on , the Twolves did nothing but run the clock up. Surprisingly, no technical fouls or thrown items, so hats off to all of these guys. Nonetheless A 30 point win in the bag for Hoelscher's Twolves. Rockets are dangerously close to claiming that last spot in the rankings.
Following was the Sonics vs. the Kings. The Kings actually think they are good after last weeks fluke of a game against the Jazz. And the Sonics still think they're good because they almost tied it up with the Jazz. So clearly this is a big game in terms of self-esteem and overall pride. Brennan Dombro lead the efforts for the Sonics to a steady 10 point win. Not saying much. Sonics remain in the middle of the pack.
The feast of the Nuggets and Heat came at 11:00. Shoutout to the Nuggets for showing up again. It takes a lot of balls to be embarrassed like these guys do week in and week out. Behind the Heat's PF Wachowskis double figure performance, the Heat were able to get on top of the Nuggets early, and eventually manhandled these sorry Nuggets. The Heat remain a legit factor and we will see how they perform against the Bucks in two weeks. For the Nuggets, maybe they'll be lucky enough to play the Rockets soon or something.
The snooze-fest resumed at 2:00, for whatever reason, between the Lakers and Liam O'Connell. The Lakers finally had a full roster, and it showed as they took a convincing lead off the bat. Liam eventually carried the team, as always, to a solid 10 point victory. Good win for Liam. It appears the Jazz have learned their lesson about THC use during basketball. Liam shoots back up in this weeks rankings, while the Lakers fall. The Lakers don't currently pose a threat, but watch out for them, for they have as much potential as any other team.
3:00 was between the undefeated Grizzlies, and the 76ers, who finally had their all star in Peter James. For reasons unknown, Peter actually competed today in khaki pants. I can't imagine that helped their chances. Anyways, this game was highlighted by collusion between the Grizzlies and the "referees". It appears these refs just do not know how to call a foul. Makes you think that Dihu just hands out zebra shirts to any rando on the street corner. Disclosed members of the Grizzlies were actually seen stroking the joy stick of the men in stripes. Pure collusion. Grizzlies by 10. Regardless the Grizzlies height will keep them in the race. Sixers take a tumble in the rankings.
The Bucks and the Pooicans capped off today's bore. An seemingly interesting matchup here considering the Pooicans were actually fortunate enough to beat the Bucks previous franchise, the Raptors. I had trouble believing that the Pelicans were actually this bad, they really do have some elite talent. But there is no doubt anymore; the talent is just not to be seen ever. The Bucks took a huge lead out of the gate in this one, which was highlighted by Rinaldi and O'malleys combined 39 points. The Pooicans, lead by a monstrosity of a stat line from Owen Kopka, made only one contributable stat, which was a technical foul by the Energizer Bunny himself (Patrick Burke). Bucks were able to squeeze a 35 point win in this one, even without 2x MVP Brander. Becuase of that, the Pooicans will slide in the power rankings, but surge in the anger management edition. Bucks are still the real deal.
Power Rankings:
1) Bucks (2:1 odds)
2) Heat (2:1 odds)
3) Grizzlies (3:1 odds)
4) Liam O'Connell (2:1 odds)
5) Twolves (14:1 odds)
6) Sonics (15:1 odds)
7) 76ers (12:1 odds)
8) Lakers (8:1 odds)
9) Pooicans (20:1 odds)
10) Rockets (980:1 odds)
11) Kings (40:1 odds)
12) Nuggets (8,776:1 odds)
Anger Management Rankings
1) Pooicans
2) Rockets
3) 76ers
4) Twolves
5) Sonics
6) Jazz
7) Kings
8) Bucks
9) Heat
10) Grizzlies
11) Lakers
12) Nuggets
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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