Syracuse Women arrested at local Walmart

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Late Sunday night Camillus Women, Dana-Marie Kellog-Shafer was arrested at a local Walmart Super Center after she repeatadly wouldn't cooperate with employees. Dana, 21, refused to take orders after she sharted all over the wall and kept sitting on innocent shoppers faces. Dana is fucking huge and weighs like 400 pounds lol. Her mom and dad were having sex in the isle over and we're chearing for their daughter as she repeatadly took massive dumps all over shoppers carts, instantly ruining almost all of Walmart. Dana's boyfriend, Taylor Horseman, 21 of Camillus was asked about the incedent Monday morning. "Her ass is so fucking hot," Taylor told reporters. "I'm gonna go home and rip her ass open later," He repeatadly said. Not really sure what that has to do with the story but it sounds very disturbing. Dana will be held at Syracuse justice center on bail for 3$.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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