Area Man Hospitalized After Laughing At His Own Tweets
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Things almost turned fatal late Thursday night in Clark's Summit when local youngling James Barrett, also known as Jimmy Wild Boy B, was hospitalized after laughing too hard at his own tweets.
Jimmy is a frequent Twitter user. On average, he sends out dozens of tweets a day, all of which usually are about being wild, the ABC Classic TV show Lost, his old car Cheryl, or something along the lines of him being the funniest person he knows.
"Dude, oh my god. He god damn tweets that everyday. We get it, you think your mediocre tweets are funny," said a close friend.
Jimmy refused to acknowledge that source as a friend.
"That guy is a dick. He's just mad because my tweet about local rednecks back in July took all the spotlight when he thought he posted something funny at the same time. Honestly, his tweet wasn't very funny and had too many emojis. Not for me."
When asked about his thoughts on his own tweets, Jimmy had this to say
"Have you seen them? I'm honestly surprised I don't have my own comedy skit," said Jimmy, grunting through the chest pains at CMC Hospital in Scranton.
According to his brother Tyler, the family heard Jimmy laughing uncontrollably from the basement, a common sound for the Barrett household.
"I honestly thought it was kind of annoying. I wanted to play Skyrim, but he told me he was already playing. When I came down a few minutes later, he was laying on the floor with the game on pause and was already re-reading his tweets from July and he would not stop laughing. Don't tell me you're gonna play the skyrim and then keep it on pause for 30 minutes. I went back upstairs, but once it got silent for more than 20 seconds, I knew something was wrong."
The family found Jimbo passed out on the floor with his phone in his hand and not breathing.
Though the injury was almost fatal, Jimmy is expected to recovery fully later this week.
"I'm honestly just ready to get back and reclaim my title as the best tweeter in the game. You should of seen my stuff from junior year. I'm surprised I didn't die back then."
There has been some word that he is already asking his mom to return his phone.
All of us here will be waiting patiently to see what first tweet is.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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