Study: SD Cards are Silent Killers?!?!?!?!?!

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A Study in the Journal of Computers and Electronics found that children exposed to "Flash" the active ingredient in the "Samsung Digital" SD cards, Solid Snake Drives(SSD) and USB Flash Drives (Disk on Keys) common in Smartphones, Tablets, Computers and even Calculators is linked to Ischium, a Fatal Bonemarrow Disease with a p>0.95 propability. These Storage devices are hailed for their small size, speed and reliability and since their introduction in 2009 their popularity has boomed as the main storage medium for all smartphones and have recently snuck in into some computers. However Experts have been concerned that these innocent looking chips are causing Ischium An 80 fatal bonemarrow disease.

Johann Bernoulli from the University of Basel commented on the results, "We have been suspicious for years on Flash Memory they work by attacking small transistors or 'cells' with a high amount of ultra-violet radiation, some of the radiation gets stored in the cells as an electric potential, you probably know where the rest goes"

These results have been hidden by Samsung for over 6 years, and only recently discovered, since then manufacturers have turned the regular 8 bit models into 64 Trillion bit models with 64 Trillion cells.

Emmy Noether A mother of 2 commented, "These results urge change, I hope the government will outlaw such dangerous storage"

What can you do in the meantime? Well, remove the memory cards from all your devices, and if you have to use a Disk with Flash look for the smallest 1 gigabyte models that have fewer transistors and emit less ultraviolet. Do not write files bigger than 20 kilobytes. Avoid all computers that feature SSD drives and all IOmega zip disks.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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