The Month of July Is Research-Proven as the Stupidest Month of the Year
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Credentialed horologists recently made a jaw-dropping, shocking, astonishing, astounding, and stupefying discovery: the month of July has, by far, the lowest IQ of any other calendar month.
In a study commissioned by AoS Enterprises, Inc., all twelve months of the year were administered a battery of IQ tests over a period of one month. The mean IQ score among the group was 103, with February having the highest at 132 and July the lowest at 11. In terms of groups, winter months manifested higher IQ scores than summer months, with fall and spring falling somewhere in the middle. The results were statistically significant.
The findings raise important questions as to the legitimacy and reliability of our calendar system. If July is as dumb as the testing indicates, then it's possible that it would be removed and replaced by a second February. A groundswell of support is already building for this change.
When asked about the potential reasons for the amazing IQ score differences, Dr. AoS replied, "July's unquenchable consumption of stupid and worthless shandies have created a build-up of tau proteins that inhibit its ability to get its days and weeks in order. On the other hand, February's bioflavonoid-imbued stouts helped it attain the highest scores. Stay thirsty, my friends!"
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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