Just How Bad is the Anti-Intelligence Division?
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Last year the Anti-Intelligence Division had the league’s highest scoring team and two teams in the semi-finals of the playoffs. Things were looking up. But we seem to have underestimated the incompetence of the owners in this division. For starters you have MJSchwartz74 and FightnXO; in the first two seasons of this dynasty league they have traded away Nick Chubb (the RB4 in points per game (PPG)), Keenan Allen (WR9 in PPG) and Stefon Diggs (WR11 in PPG). BMitch and Hustletown both overvalued their players and have cowered away from making trades they desperately needed to make. BMITCH repeatedly said Todd Gurley would be “fine” and said he was still a top-5 RB and wouldn’t trade him for anything less. Gurley is the RB18 in PPG and there is no reason to believe things get any better. Hustletown had two big name WRs who he said he would only trade away for a RB1. Now halfway through the season, he is stuck with Mike Evans (WR15) and Odell Beckham Jr. (WR34); this may not sound bad, but when your best RB is Tevin Coleman, it seems like he missed an opportunity. And finally, there’s the Purple PP Eater; the Antonio Brown of this league. An absolute clown. Do you want a real challenge? Look at PPE’s roster and try to decide who the best player is. Mark Ingram? Hunter Henry? Eesh, not good. He’s been so bad, that MJScwhartz and BMitch have looked like geniuses trading with PPE. Just to show how bad this division, let’s examine some unbelievable statistics:
- SARAGON is the only team in the league who would not be in 1st place in this division.
- However, SARAGON has more points than 3 of 4 division teams, including division leader.
- SARAGON would have a .500 record if he played against these 4 teams each week.
- Schwartz has spent more FAAB than any other team and has not started any of the players they’ve picked up. In fact, they’ve dropped T. Hill, L. Willson, and B. Bolden who they spent a combined $57.
- PPE would be 2-5 if he played SARAGON each week.
- PPE traded away a 2019 2nd, and 2020 1st round pick for Darwin Thompson who has 2.2 points on the year.
- There is not one RB1 in the entire division in total points. In PPG, Schwartz has the RB11 (Barkley), but that’s it! Hustletown’s best RB is Tevin Coleman (RB28)
- There is only one WR1 in the entire division BMitch’s Amari Cooper (WR4). MJSchwartz’s best WR is Terry Mclauren (WR26) and PPE’s best WR who hasn’t been injured for more than half the season is Dede Westbrook (WR44).
It is quite possible that a 5-8 or 6-7 team wins this division. MJSchwartz texted me the following earlier in the season, “The CI division is weak as shit. No chance FightnXO and I don’t win it…” While it will be between MJSchwartz and BMitch for the division title, there is no way either team can string together 3 straight wins in the playoffs to win the title. It’s a shame that one of these losers will take away a playoff spot from a more deserving team, but such is life.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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