BREAKING: Cats Discovered To Have Tails
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Scientists at Johns Hopkins University held a press conference earlier today to explain their findings in their near decade-long research into felines.
The team of scientists, led by Dr. Harrison Strickland, officially concluded that the reason why people often see beings with tails is that cats have tails, so you are probably seeing a cat when you see a tail.
Along with their press conference, the team of scientists released a 40-page report documenting everything that cats can do with their tails, including but not limited to: curling them to indicate their excitement for fish, curling them to indicate their excitement for string, and slowly moving them back and forth while waiting to pounce on red dots.
Though the $150 million study mostly focused on cats, the scientists assured skeptical listeners that they did indeed bring in other animals to examine whether or not they had tails as well. A random sampling of other animal species, including ants, gorillas, butterflies, and squids, led scientists to the unanimous conclusion that no animal other than cats can possibly have a tail.
This research also showed that it's almost dinner time, and your cat deserves a fish for being so good.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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